Noah’s Journey

My Best Friend’s 3 year old son Noah, was diagnosed the day after Easter of this year with a Wilm’s Tumor on his kidney. It was a fast approach, remove the kidney/tumor and start radiation and chemo treatments. The cancer was completely gone following the removal of the kidney, but due to the tumor leaking, as a precaution he is undergoing the treatments. He is a tough little fellow and is the one sitting in front of his Daddy in the picture above. He is one of 6 siblings with another brother on the way. This Family is precious to me and I’d do anything for them, you tend to do that for your Best Friend! Noah’s treatments are going really well, but with lots of medical attention comes lots of medical bills.

The Family are selling Noah T-shirts that were designed by a family friend, see below what they look like. If you would like to contribute by either ordering a T-shirt or giving a donation in honor of Noah please contact me or go to Mary’s blog at Trusting Jesus All the Way and place an order. Details are below.

Sizes are available in Youth XS to Adult XXXL, and are 50/50, rather than 100% cotton.

They are going to be $13.50 per shirt. I plan to take orders thru June 15th. Payment would need to be made by then, please. I believe we will have them no later than 2 weeks after we order them.

Green is Noah’s favorite color so they incorporated it into the design. I know that God will sufficiently supply this family the means to pay off Noah’s medical bills. Thanks so much for your help.

Noah on Easter Day

   Noah this week after treatment


Seeing It in Stone

I’m gonna make this short and sweet. We just got my Sister’s Tombstone in a couple of weeks ago and I must say, it is beautiful. It really made it all sink in to more of a reality to see her name in Stone. To know that it marks the spot where her body is, but not her soul. A place I can go to and  actually see her name somehow makes me feel close to her even though I know she is in Heaven. This tombstone has caused so many emotions whell up inside of me that I cannot even describe. I sometimes feel stuck in a land of confusion trying to sort it all out. Even though it will be 2 years in October, it still seems like yesterday to me. I miss her so much sometimes I cannot stand it. If I had one wish, it would be just one more day to tell her how much I truly love her!

The Real Matt Pitt

Yes, I’m gonna go there AGAIN! Unlike my husband I sometimes hold back from giving my opinion, I sometimes find keeping peace better than the later. But honestly, after the turn of events that have occured this past week with Matt Pitt being arrested for impersonating a Police Officer someone has to say, “I told you so!” This is no surprise to me or my wonderful spouse Mark, nor are we alone in our thoughts on this man.

I had posted earlier this week an article about his arrest, a friend commented and said, “My heart is sad”. Sad for who? For him or sad for all the followers he has deceived so many years, or sad for the ones who had to hear his bad theology, or sad for the ones he hit on, or sad for the police officers he tried to deceive or sad for the people who work with him that he gets to lie for him? I could go on and on but read this little insert that someone commented on one of my husbands 42 blogs concerning Matt Pitt. Yes, you read that right, 42 blogs warning people about this man! Here is what one person had to say, but there are many more comments where people have commented and feel the same way.

This comment came in last night from a reader on his blog, which btw has gotten tons of hits since the Matt Pitt arrest: Hi! I would like to start off by saying that I’m commenting on this post because it has the most replies and I’m hoping they< > have checked the box below to be notified of follow up comments. I will try to keep this as short as possible… Wouldn’t want my ADD generation to become bored with it. I have read most of the MP posts and I honestly have to say they make me smile. I stumbled across your blog after doing some Google searches for “Matt Pitt arrested” and have I have to say I’m so happy that your blog somehow showed up in my results. I am so hoping this is the topic of your upcoming post referenced to on 5.13.12, if not the ADD reference went right over my head. So, to give you a little back story, I first met Matt Pitt and his ego about 15 years ago. My youth group attended an event hosted by his church (Cathedral) called Birmingham Harvest. It was a week long event where a few youth groups came together and in groups went into the projects of Kingston to witness. We did this by going door to door and inviting people to a Christian Rap Concert that was supposed to minister to the people. After the concert we were instructed to lead people to Christ because I know you know that after a rap concert the unbelievers know everything they need to know to become a Christian. Looking back seems a little ironic… Anyway, MP just so happened to be in my group and he wasn’t lying when he said he’s an ADD child. He was dating the pastor of the church’s daughter and my friends and I were in love at first sight and he knew it. I was about 15 and so insecure, which he also knew. I remember thinking he pretty much hung the moon. He was very funny and he knew how to make you feel good about yourself especially if you were weak. He preys on the weak and uses them to feed his own ego and I am ashamed to say that I used to be a Matt Pitt ego feeder, but that was back when he was only famous to me and my friends, so it makes me cringe to think of the monster he’s become. About 5 years after Birmingham Harvest, my best friend who was attended Bham Harvest with me told me she ran into Matt Pitt one Sunday at COH. I’m pretty sure this was when he was in college before God took him down to his basement. After church he hit on her and convinced her to let him come back to her place, yes, I said after church he hit on her and convinced her to let him come back to her place. He was Matt Pitt after all, she thought. She was weak and he was preying because he wanted something. When she realized he didn’t like her, he was just trying to use her and she declined his offer he got very mad and left. So, about 5 years ago when I heard a commercial for The Basement and looked it up and saw his name and face on the front page I bet I sat there frozen with my mouth on the floor for at least 60 seconds in disbelief. I was happy for him, although I had my reservations at first, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I believe 150% that God can turn anyone’s life around. I even thought about attending a service until I looked into his ministry and saw that even though God may have legitimately touched him and started to change him in his basement, as soon as he saw the opportunity to benefit from it, he took it and he ran. I’m talking national level weak preying and national level ego feeding. This is what he’s always wanted fame and followers and he was able to do it by using God’s name. His dreams were coming true, but what he didn’t realize is that, we’ll just say less ignorant people out there, see right through him and his phony image he’s created. Yes, he’s created this image, not God. The, we’ll call them more ignorant people, however, do not see this and most of them are too young and insecure to know better. Any halfway intellectual person who reads his quotes can see that he is still the same manipulative Matt Pitt I knew 15 years ago. And for everyone saying this is judging I feel bad for you. There’s a difference in judging and simply calling someone out. I am one of the statistics, though not proud of it, who left the church at 18. I still believe in God and the Bible, but I have to say that MP isn’t helping my statistic. So I am proof that his so called solution to lowering it isn’t working. Anyway, I could go on and on. Just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying reading over your blogs. I’m sure MP is one of those people who say that his haters make him famous, but you if it involves fame, he’s in! Keep up the good work! And I’m Sorry to all of you fellow ADD’ers out there. I’m sure I lost you about 600 words ago.

So, this person gives you a hint of how Matt Pitt really is and those of you that may feel offended or that we are wrong are just one more statistic that has been deceived by him. And if anyone has been saved by going to one of his events, it is solely because of God alone and nothing that Matt Pitt did himself. Only God should get the glory for a saved life!

Want to see more blog posts that warn agianst Matt Pitt? Go to my husbands blog at you won’t regret it! All this is simple. It is our place as Christians to call out anyone who we believe who are decievers or false prophets. And any of you who think that his arrest was a big misunderstanding is more brain washed than I thought. Enough said!

Trust…….That Defining Moment

Have you ever thought of what it means to trust someone, I mean truly trust someone? When I saw this quote “Your past doesn’t define you, Let it go” this really hit home to me. In this post you may see a side of me that many have not seen because normally I am a quiet, private person, but today I hit the end of my rope and there’s some things I need to “let go of” you can say. So I may let go of them with my words. Forgive me if I offend anyone, but it is my blog and I can write what I wish. I’m very ill today, so I may say anything at this point.

I have found in my life with others and with myself that is is hard to trust at times when certain circumstances happens in our lives. Many can be avoided and many cannot be. As some of you know, my husband and myself have had our times of trials the past few years. With the economy the way it is, he has been laid off from jobs more times than we can remember. Sometimes we had to count on others to help in certain areas and many times friends helped without us even asking. One friend in particular offered her home to us after the first layoff when we could no longer afford our rent even though this family knew us less than a few months. This family never made us feel less of ourselves as people, parents or friends. And then there are some that make you feel like you are worthless and you can’t go on. Some that can’t trust you, or won’t trust you no matter how much you try. Those that believe something and then when they find out the truth they can’t even mull up an “I’m sorry, I was wrong, and will you forgive me”. No, they go on thinking they are better than anyone without even knowing what it is like to live almost three years of unemployment. What it is like to be treated with no respect or what is feels like to never have them trust you again.

Do they think that we asked for unemployment for those three years or that we asked to be ignored and not invited to certain gatherings because of their pride of knowing they were wrong and never asking forgiveness. Perhaps ashamed as they should be. Others asking why we weren’t there and thinking we weren’t there because we chose not to be there when in reality it was because we weren’t asked to participate. Something they may not know. It disgusts me that people can’t let go of past issues and move on. To stop bringing up things that we had no control over, especially when we have tried so hard this past year to move on. Wondering about the persons decision today and if they realize it could jeopardize my husbands job because they assumed something that you had nothing to do with. Just one of those things that happens in life.

Sometimes I want to run away from all of these wordly things and live in the woods until our time on earth is complete. I think until that day comes there will never be any peace on this earth as we know it. No trusting, no forgiveness and no happiness. Just people saying and doing things that make those of us feel like there is no place for us and that we will never accomplish anything good in our lives. But I tell you this, God tells me different. You can continue to make me think that my past defines me, but it does not. The past is the past, it is not any more and it is the future that I can change.


Jesus Has A Rocking Chair

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.  Jerimiah 1:4

Tomorrow marks a very dear to my heart anniversary, the loss of our baby. This loss was not only mentally draining but physically draining as well. You see, I had an ectopic pregnancy and I could have lost my life. I had been having some difficulties with the pregnancy early on. Even though my HCG levels were soaring the ultrasound didn’t show all that it should be showing as being viable. I went to the Doctor several times and was even told some signs to look out for with ectopic (tubal) pregnancies. Not long after I arrived home from my doctor visit the pain started and it was unbearable. By this time I was 8 weeks along. Mark took me to the Hospital and it was there that I found out I had a tubal pregnancy. The baby had grown so large inside the fallopian tube it was about to burst, that is when it could be deadly. I had my surgery to remove the tube and my precious baby. The healing physically from the surgery was worse than I’ve ever had to endure on top of the anguish I felt from another pregnancy loss knowing that was our last chance to ever conceive again. Our two children were also very heartbroken.

With the loss came hope and an opportunity to open many doors of healing. I took over a ministry at Church called the Angel Touch Ministry. It ministers to those who have had a pregancy loss due to miscarriage, ectopic and sudden infant death along with those who had suffered from an abortion. It was a great ministry that reached out to so many. Each year in October we had a Candlelight Ceremony in Honor of the babies we had lost. Along with the ministry, God led my husband and I to Foster care. We fostered children for 7 years and what a journey and blessing it was. Although often times heartbreaking when letting them go, it was a step that meant the parent/parents were able to take them back after a recovery period, so we rejoiced with them. As I look back, I don’t think I would change a thing. God blessed us with so much during that time in our lives.


This song I played so many times during that time in my life, it gives us hope that our babies are in Heaven and that we will all be joined together again one day. Our loss was not in vain because our babies are very much alive and living with Jesus our Saviour.

If you have ever suffered a pregnancy loss a great book to read is “Safe in the arms of God” by John MacArthur. It will answer every question imagineable. Another great comfort book is “Mommy Please Don’t cry”. I’ve been there and even though it has been 11 years since my loss, you never stop remembering them.

Little While Friends

When my children were young this book was my Daughter’s favorite book, she would want me to read it over and over. If you have never read it, you need to. It is about a young boy Orlando who went on a trip with his parents and had to leave his friends behind, but along the way he made lots of “little while friends”. Whether it was at a campsite or some other place they went next, he always made friends that he would have to leave behind because of the trip. He met all kinds of friends along the way and he always asked them, “Do you want to be my little while friend?”  At the end of their trip they returned home and they had new neighbors moving in next door. Turns out it was one of the friends he had met on his trip. The book ends with Orlando and the friend in the tree swinging by their legs and Orlando says, “Do you want to be forever friends?”

As this story came to mind today it reminded me that children can make friends so much easier than most Adults can. They aren’t afraid to take that chance and they are so easy to forgive. God brings lots of friends into our paths during our lifetime. The friends can be little while friends (the friends God put into our lives for certain reasons or seasons) or they can be forever friends (the friends God put into our lives for a lifetime). I have been blessed by both and I am so thankful to God for each and everyone of them. Right now I am in a new direction in my life with friends. Things are never what we ever imagine they will be or how certain situations will turn out. Some friendships you think will last forever turn out to be just little while friends for reasons you yourself can never control. We can try to hold onto those friendships and do everything you possibly can to keep the friendship going but in the end it has to be two fold. I lost a friend not to long ago who I love dearly, I’ll never know why she chose to leave so quietly, but I don’t think she will ever know what her worth was to me. I miss her more than she will know.

And then there are friends you lose and get back, those are the friends worth keeping. Right when you think that you have lost them forever, God opens the door for renewal and makes the friendship better than it was before.

This is Mary, my forever friend that God brought into my life and who I am very blessed to have. We’ve been through so much, but God restored what I thought I lost forever. Mary is the most forgiving, loving friend and so much more than I feel that I deserve. She has unconditional love and the most awesome smile that I’ve ever seen. Never have I seen her without that smile. When I’m feeling bad or need a pick me up, she is there. Never do I have to wonder if she will be there if I needed her. I am blessed beyond measure for her and for all the friends in my life whether it be at Work, Church or the friends God will bless me with in the years to come. I am a blessed Woman indeed!

Sisters Are Forever And Always, Even From Heaven

Have you ever heard the saying, “We’ll be Sisters Always and Forever?” If you really think about it does that saying mean there’s a chance we could lose that title of being “Sister”? Of course not, even through death of a sibling could we lose that title, for having a Sister is a Forever thing. My Sister Anita died a year and a half ago and tomorrow would have been her 47th Birthday. She was a young 45 years old when she got sick. As I think back when she first started feeling sick, I always thought the Doctors would find the problem, fix the problem and we’d go on with our lives like before. Never did I dream that test after test would come up empty handed as she got sicker and sicker. My Sister had a protein deficiency where she lacked protein in her body. Her body was unable to stay healthy due to this and the tiniest of germs could make her sick. She had a feeding tube in her stomach that was fed liquid food to try to give her the nutrients she needed. Throughout her many Hospital stays those few months she contracted a bacteria infection (Sepsis) that would enter her bloodstream and take her life. I remember that last Hospital stay, she went in on a Monday for something minor with her legs, by Tuesday she wasn’t acting quiet herself and was in and out of sleep. I had encouraged Mom to go home to rest and she did. I work on the campus at the Hospital so the next day (Wednesday) I tried to call her to check on her, but the phone stayed busy so I walked down to see her. She was in the bed with the receiver in her lap and I walked over to her and tried to talk with her. It was obvious she wasn’t very aware of her surroundings. I called Mom and she came to the Hospital. That night I went to visit her and she really wasn’t alert much, she would awaken only if talked to directly. As I left to go home I went to her and said, “Bye, I love you”! She opened her eyes, smiled and said, “Bye, I love you too”. Never would I have Imagined that those would be the last words and the last smile I would ever see and hear.

Mom called me that morning, it was a Thursday and said they were moving her to the MICU unit. She was no longer responsive, from there things turned worse. They tried everything to save my Sister, from emergency surgery to see if they could come up with anything, to giving her blood and all kinds of antibiotics. I had never seen so many bags of medicine hanging on a pole before. We could only go in to see her during certain hours and waiting was hard. By Friday they had to put her on a breathing machine which totally broke my heart. Seeing her lying there like that and no way I could ever tell her and let her know that she means the world to me and how much I truly love her. I couldn’t understand why this was happening . Our Family Doctor came in to see her and it was at that moment that he told us that there was nothing else they could do, she wasn’t going to pull through and we needed to decide whether or not to take her off the breathing machine. They let Mom and I stay in the MICU with her that night because they truly thought she wouldn’t make it through the night, but she showed them. By Saturday afternoon our Family made the hardest decisions we have ever made, to take her off the breathing machine. With all of us around her bed, holding her hand, within 30 minutes of the machine being off, she flew into the arms of our Jesus! My heart is surely broken, it still is, will always be. She is my only Sibling and our Daddy had died in 2006. So, now it is just Mom and I.

So many days I still go over and over in my mind why it had to happen, why her, why couldn’t they make her better, why does my heart still hurt so much, why couldn’t I have been able to tell her how much I really, truly loved her. And then there is the guilt of some decisions I made in my life toward her that I want so bad to do over or ask for her forgiveness. But, God knows, he wanted her with Him, her time here on earth was complete and she isn’t sick anymore, she has no recollection of this world and how horrid people can be. Her life is as perfect as perfect can be. What I can have is those memories of our childhood, our Adulthood and what a beautiful send off we gave her. I can listen to the song that Mary, my Best Friend sang at her Funeral and say, “You’ll be my Sister Forever and Always, Even from Heaven”! She flew to Jesus and tomorrow she will spend her Birthday with HIM!


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